hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
