i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
