Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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