you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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