she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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