Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
