new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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