well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
