happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
