HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
