omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
