And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i think i have two assholes
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
