uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
