i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
