last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So vagazzling was a success
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
