She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You were trust falling into bushes
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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