I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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