When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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