Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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