kristin has been a bad kristin
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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