We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
