found the other keg... it's in the tree
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
