I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
