my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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