Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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