sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
