Jerry, you need to find god
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
