His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
