Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
