were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
