Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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