i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
