pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
