girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
