i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize