Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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