So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
