dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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