47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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