Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
