He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
