Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
