There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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