hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
