he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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