No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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