so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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