so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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