So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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