Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
