in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
