Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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