I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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