For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
