omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
