ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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