Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
