Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Randomize
