It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i dont even know how to be here
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
