we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Still dying that you shit outside
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
