He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
