I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
